This Can’t Be​ Life

Happy New Year and welcome back to

Before I get into tonight’s blog post, let me just take this time in saying how much I truly missed you all during these last few months. This has been an extremely difficult time for my family and me. 

I decided to take the necessary time in truly processing all that has happened. 

Before I begin, I just want to make note that I am usually the strong friend. The friend that typically checks in with my close friends and family members just to see how they’re doing. 

Yet, this time around I had people check on me and it was honestly the strangest feeling. I found it incredibly unbelievable that the shoe was on the other foot. 

As much as I went back and forth about wanting to talk about this, (even at this point with you guys) I knew deep down that it would ideally be therapeutic for me as well as helpful for those who might have or are currently experiencing the same thing. 

Losing a loved one is never easy nor will it ever be easy for me or anyone at that. Even typing this out is making it difficult for me in accepting that this person is no longer here. I still find myself hoping to hear their voice but I know that won’t ever happen again. I no longer have this person around and it truly breaks my heart.

There have been days where I found myself not being able to do the things I normally do. I found myself going back into my depression and I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t have the strength nor desire to do anything. I would spend days on end in my room just wanting to be alone. I literally felt lost (and still have my days when I do)

It’s been a hard pill for me to swallow to accept that my mom is no longer here.

She was literally the only person who truly understood me and knowing that I don’t have that anymore is terrifying and devasting to say the least. Even as I type out this post, I find my eyes being filled with tears. I find it harder each day to accept this new reality.

At this point in my life, I want to do all the things I set out to do in the past. I remember my mom use to tell me to go out and truly live your life. You never want to find yourself regretting or wishing you had more time to do all that you want and then some. I promise to uphold what she has said to me.

Before I end tonight’s blog post, I just wanted to take the time in thanking those who have remained patient in tonight’s return. Your response has been overwhelming and I am filled with the utmost gratitude. Thank you.

Don’t hesitate in checking on your strong friend every now and then. You never know what he or she might be going through. A simple text can literally mean the world to them.

Also, tonight’s blog post is dedicated to my extraordinary and fearless mom and to anyone who has lost a loved one. I pray that we can find peace and strength during this difficult time.

Above all else, love on one another while we can and don’t be afraid to tell someone you love and care about them.

With peace and so much love,



Published by Magz

TakemetotheHeights is a blog curated by Magz, a Brooklynite with Dominican roots stemming from both mom and dad. Currently, she spends her time working with children, taking courses for her Masters in Early Childhood Special Education, all the while chasing her wild dreams of fashion design and fashion marketing. TakemetotheHeights style blog is her reflection and admiration towards fashion as she pays homage to Crown Heights. Despite the negative connotations people may paint about areas like Crown Heights, Magz saw it was best to truly capture the essence and beauty of it all.

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